Pic by Liv-one "Looking Back" on Deviant Art~
It was a day of seering winds
And whining rains ~
When the soul needed
To huddle
In a room
Bristling with fires
And old memories
Time had forgotten
Till now
~
Grinding
Splitting
Crashing
Metal
Still pin-balled
Around her mind ~
The visual horrors
Cranked by
Like convulsing
Skeletal frames
~
If only she had not been distracted
By new music
On the radio ~
If only
She had not reached ~
For just a second ~
To turn up the volume
Heavy metal music
Today
May not have
A whole new meaning
~
Like discovering a dreamcoat
Déjà vu is coloured with wisdom
~
~
14 comments:
"Cranked by
Like convulsing
Skeletal frames"
I love this turn of phrase.
Infact,love this entire take.
Was wincing as I read because I could almost here the sounds as I read it, powerfully written, beautifully expressed.
this was a great poem... it reminded me of when i used to work in a metal bar,, after last call when they would turn on the lights and scream... "turn up the music so you wont hear the crash!!!" and we did.
so well done...
i liked how you chose heavy metal music to be the music she was listening to when she crashed...it became a new double-entrendre for her....perfect!
I like heavy metal. At one time I used to crazy about it! No, I did not crash!
LOL!
dancing comes full circle
Vivid imagery - the perfect words...!
Your thoughts come alive on screen as I scroll down and read this poem, they jump out ~ and oh, I heard the sounds, too!
I'm deeply submerged to your poetry.
I wish you well.
~ Jeques
deja vu is colored with wisdom - love it!
It does have a heavy sense of deja vu!
"whining rains" - what a great phrase! I also love the twist at the end that leads the reader in unexpected directions. Nicely done. :)
My friend, I love the sounds of your poem. And this I adore Till now
"Grinding
Splitting
Crashing
Metal
Still pin-balled
Around her mind"wonderful music to the ears.
toujous, lanie-nd
A deja vu 'flash' while driving that sets you in mind of a terrible car crash would be most unsettling.
I liked the visual and sonic textures of this piece.
Great post. I too took this as a deja vu of events leading to a crash. I thought it was a very powerful post.
I could feel this one come to life - wonderful use of words!
'The visual horrors
Cranked by
Like convulsing
Skeletal frames'
Those lines are amazing. I love what you did with this piece, it is so descriptive, so vivid.
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