Muted clouds are gathering
Like gaunt sylphs of old decay
Like listless moods pondering
The fears of midnights today
Air is hushed and whispering
The monologue of distress
Winds are lost in tinkering
Earths cringe in plaintive duress
Tiny birds seek sheltering
A cat - alert eyes widened
A child bows low whimpering
A mother's hopes seem muted
Linking to:
Real Toads - Celtic Quatrain
11 comments:
This is very beautiful, with a tragic undertone, evocative of Celtic poetry! SO well done. I tried this form and got nowhere fast!
Agree with Sherry - very beautiful. You have some exquisite half-rhymes here. Widened / muted may be stretching it a bit!? Butit doesn't lessen the power of the ending.
I liked that you used the first word as your last, and agree that the melancholy tone suits the form very well - there is a keening in the air.
Thank you for participating in the Real Toads Mini-Challenge.
Those muted clouds bring melancholy and distress ~ Great to see you at Real Toads ~
Grace
You really have captured the idea of the earth being in distress as you wrote in this most challenging form! My favorite stanza was the first - wonderful wording.
Mine: http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/06/renegade.html
This is so foreboding! I feel like I need to gather any stray babies and get inside.
Great mood and a lilting cadence. Enjoyed it.
Enjoyed this... great adherence to the form (which I found challenging).
VERY good!!! I'm glad to have read this it's elegantly rendered with distinct images!! Smiles to you in Melbourne!!
Elegant and with such distinct images! Well done!
This poem certainly is true to the Celtic roots of the form. Nicely done, haunting and yet more.
Post a Comment