The man I love is dying

Perhaps I shouldn't be writing this post. But I need to stay calm. Writing is always great for the spirit. I am supporting a man who loves me - as I love him. We have taken a lifetime to find each other. But now, cancer is slowly taking him away from me.
He hates not being able to work. There is no way he can maintain a steady job.
So, even though I lost all in Tasmania, I long to have my own house again and get off this suffocating, frightening rental merry-go-round. I am probably too old to get a house needing a mortgage. I keep telling myself I still must try. I must keep trying and hoping it may happen. Just sometimes I am not so strong. Like now! I just want him to feel safe. He worries so much about what will happen to me. Don't get me wrong. I do have a full time job. But it is hard supporting both of us. In short, I can never retire. It is just not an option. He cooks for me to keep me going. He does all he can in the house. He is just so wonderful. I feel life has drawn us a heavy card. I wish I could see a way to do more. I dream of just a small cottage on the Mornington Peninsula. I don't want much. I just want to give the man I love all I can. He deserves it. He is so special. I have never been so loved. I wish there was a miracle out there for us; some way I can get the medication he needs and some way I can give him a home. Perhaps there is a miracle for us. I MUST just keep believing. This is not my best writing. Fragmented thoughts...